When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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