Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Are we still banned from the library?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
