I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Why are your pants in the freezer?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
