They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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