I don't think we should have started that trash fire
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
