her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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