I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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