does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Randomize
