That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
