If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
