You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
