I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
