she looked like the before picture.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize