Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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