Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
