so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
