please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
