Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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