Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
