I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
