the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
