All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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