We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
