Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
