Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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