oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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