I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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