I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
