I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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