There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
