You made me cry and you don't even care
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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