dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
