Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
