Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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