It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
