For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
