somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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