Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
