And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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