i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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