I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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