Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
