So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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