ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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