let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
