You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize