make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
