that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize