I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
