We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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