Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you will always have a special place in my vag
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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