Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
