Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
