We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We had to coat check the pizza.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
