It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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