Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
