dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just threw up on my dentist
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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