you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
not ubering you a puppy
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
