I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
