and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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