so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
