Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
