She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
