Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
