He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize