I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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